union, sex, Tantra, relationships, artwork by Janaka Stagnaro
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SATSANG WITH JANAKA 10/03
#3
'Two to Be One', by Janaka Stagnaro
Janaka,
I have long been interested in Tantra and the connection I have with my partner when we think of God while we make love.  How do you think we can weave our love for God into our 1. Love making ? 2. our relationship? 3 what rituals are helpful in bringing about  spiritual love making?
Gratefully....
Q
A
Namaste,

This is indeed a juicy subject that many a teacher shy away from. Just let me say from the onset I am not a Tantric in that I have studied Tantra, besides cursory studies (which amounts to little more than looking at the pictures!) I do know that there is a difference between the intense Tantrics of the East, who may utilize sex at times to find unity with the divinity of their worship in an impersonal way. Robert Samboda gives a good account of such practices in his book, 'Aghora'. Then there is what is refered to by many as Neo-Tantra of the West, which has a more humanistic/spiritual psychological approach to it. This seems basically to bring more consciousness in love-making, as well as more enjoyment, in contrast to either the uptight Puritan morality that has seeped into the foundation of the U.S. or the other extreme of pornography and just bodies banging bodies, shooting for orgasms. Just as oral intercourse may be used in a conscious spiritual way, instead of the daily trivial or manipulative conversations; so too can physical intercourse be used to bring you and your partner closer in oneness. Sex or celibacy can be excellent tools. They are not goals. Another benefit to practicing 'Tantra' is that if you are a man you will learn that one does not have to have a full  orgasm to derive pleasure. In fact, more energy can be created to give for the relationship and the world if you abstain from ejaculation at times.You ask about rituals. I am more Advaitin, or non-dualistic, in all that I do, so rituals play little in my life. I find it very simple and very effecient to think of God (I find it far safer than thinking about an ex-partner during such times!), to chant inwardly or outwardly mantras or Holy Names, or do Self Inquiry: Am I a body making love to another body? No. Then who am I really? The important thing is to remain conscious throughout; through foreplay, through all the various positions, through orgasms. Keeping Present. No grasping for outcomes (no pun intended, truly).No rushing. When you make love, be there making love. When you are not in the arms of your partner, don't be thinking about when you might. Be Present. Just keep thinking about God. It is God, afterall, who is your only lover. Just give all your acts with your partner, and with all persons, to God.

Hari Om Tat Sat

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